But Fear Itself
by Daeleniel Shadowphyre
Summary: SHONEN AI: Once upon a time, there was a knight who was killed in the service of his prince by the power of an evil Raven.


**Title:** But Fear Itself

**Series:** To Serve and Protect

**Author:** Daeleniel Shadowphyre

**Feedback:** darkone2813 at mindspring dot com

**Fandom:**Princess Tutu

**Genre:** Alternate Universe, Angst

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Mytho/Fakir hints

**Summary:** Once upon a time, there was a knight who was killed in the service of his prince by the power of an evil Raven.

**Warnings:** Mindfuck.

**Disclaimer:** Princess Tutu and related characters and themes belong to Itoh Ikuko and Satoh Junichi. This is a non-profit work of fiction.

**Notes:** This is the product of too much time to think, lots of Tutu!fic, and a long hot shower. I know, it doesn't make any sense to me, either. And then, somehow, this story worked its way into my longer Tutu!fic To Serve and Protect (forthcoming). How, I'm really not sure, but for some reason the idea would NOT leave my head. I really need a new hobby.

**Dedication:** To Touch of Grey-- not precisely what I promised, but it wouldn't leave me alone long enough to write your challenge first.

**Distribution:** Ask, and ye shall receive.

_**O**nce upon a time, there was a knight in the service of a great prince. His duty to protect the prince kept him at the prince's side throughout the long battle against the evil Raven. Ultimately, he paid the price of loyalty, torn to pieces by the Raven's power..._

**F**akir remembers more about his past life as a knight than he'd ever willingly admit to. He remembers a time before the Prince shattered his heart, before the Ravens drew the kingdom into war with itself. He can vividly recall a moment of standing in an open window next to his Prince, their arms slung round each other's shoulders, watching the birds dancing with the clouds. He doesn't let himself recall it often, finding it hurts more to think about that than about what happened after, knowing what happened after to make the memory so bittersweet.

He watches Mytho more now than he did when the Prince first came to live with him and Charon. Every day, he sees a little more emotion in the once still face, a little more spark of something besides that haunting, ever-present sadness. In those moments, he can see most clearly in Mytho the great Prince he'd been, and that frightens him.

Fear was always something that Fakir understood. Fear of death, fear of failure... Now he fears something less distinct, more insidious and complex than something so concrete as 'fail' and 'die'.

He fears the darkness that he sees in Mytho's eyes when everyone else sees light. He fears the cruel twist of Mytho's lips when no one is watching, the sinister sneer that looks upon their classmates with superior contempt. He fears that one day Mytho will turn that dark regard on him, knowing that Fakir sees the darkness and recognises it for what it is.

Sometimes, Mytho will turn to Fakir and smile sweetly, gently, with newly discovered affection. Most times, Fakir will turn away with a scowl and pretend he didn't see it, but every now and then, when he can't help himself, he'll meet the smile with one of his own and pretend. He'll pretend that he doesn't see the shadows lingering around the edges of Mytho's smile, pretend that the dark fire burning through his Prince's golden eyes isn't there, that everything is all right. Sometimes he can pretend that Mytho's heart is the only thing reforming inside him, and the traces of the Raven he can see are only his overactive paranoia.

It never lasts, and he has to turn away before his smile slips, stop himself from looking at the face of his Prince while knowing that the face is slowly becoming little more than a mask for the darkness. He's afraid of what will happen when the Prince realises that Fakir knows.

Fakir sees.

He's read the story of the Prince and the Raven countless times, studying the book until he's sure he can quote it from memory. He knows how the story speaks of the Knight, dying in the service of his Prince, torn apart by the Raven's evil power. And he remembers, too, the agony of being sliced open, rent in twain by something he is powerless to fight against, and it's all he can do not to scream when he wakes in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking and praying that Mytho doesn't wake and see his fear. For the story always speaks of the Raven's power being the instrument of the Knight's death.

It never mentions that it was the Prince's hand that wielded it.

_**O**nce upon a time, there was a knight in the service of a great prince. His duty to protect the prince kept him at the prince's side, even when the prince was taken over by the power of the Raven's blood. The knight's loyalty and love was not enough to stay the Raven's claim upon the prince, and for his failure he was condemned to die upon the blade of the prince he could not save from the darkness._

**-Owari-**


End file.
